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I'll be out of touch/town till Sun 10/7/2007

Discussion in 'Aquatic Clubs, Events, and Announcements' started by Tom Barr, Sep 30, 2007.

  1. Tom Barr

    Tom Barr Founder
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    My sister's husband shot and killed himself today. He is survived by my sister and their 1 year old daughter. I am flying back to Indiana tomorrow and will not be back till the following Sunday.

    Forgive me for not being around till then.

    Regards,
    Tom Barr
     
  2. luismoniz

    luismoniz Prolific Poster

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    :eek: that is realy bad news!
    Its ok Tom, we can wait.
     
  3. VaughnH

    VaughnH Lifetime Charter Member
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    I'm sorry, Tom. That is one of the worst moments in a family's life.
     
  4. Tom Barr

    Tom Barr Founder
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    We laid him to rest today.
    Really sad.

    I had to clean up the room where it happened, no one else could do it from either side of the family. Everything was a mess. Near as I could tell, it looked like a drunken mistake. I know/knew him too well, but like a heart attack or a physically disease, booze + mental issues can kill you without treatment.

    He was a really good guy. Helpful to my side of the family and vice versa.
    I still expect him to walk through to the door talking up a storm, he had the gift of gab and one of the most helpful people I've ever known.

    Regards,
    Tom Barr
     
  5. ceg4048

    ceg4048 Lifetime Charter Member
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    Mr. Barr,
    My condolences to you and your family. That had to be the grimmest of tasks cleaning up. Not sure if it offers any solace to know that it was an accident as opposed to suicide. Good to have you back and hope you can find some level of distraction via the hobby we share and love.

    Peace,
     
  6. Tom Barr

    Tom Barr Founder
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    Well, of all the folks best suited to the job, being a meat cutter for 12 years certainly helped. I could tell how and where the bullet went in etc.
    Seemed to me that it was like a drunk that killed themselves in car, he was likely just playing with a loaded gun and it went off. I really do not think it was thought through suicide. There where lotto tickets, he'd just bought those and then a reciept for a power paint sprayer etc. He still had a lot more to lose before he hit bottom as far as alcoholics go.

    Figuring out what to do after is tough. They had a collection from the GM plant where he worked for the last 30 years as a tool and die maker, robot programmer. All very nice folks. Todd never did do a will, now it goes to probate. If he had, then the creditors would have been all screwed.

    Good reason to write a will folks.
    Leaves a mess if you do not.

    He was an marine aqurist as well, I got him into that. Booze has taken 9 of my friends, 2 of my family members, decimated 3 families who got hit by a drunk, killed two brother in laws now.

    Regards,
    Tom Barr
     
  7. shane

    shane Lifetime Charter Member
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    Sorry to hear this Tom,

    My condolences. Sounds like the moral of the story is alchohol kills.
     
  8. FacePlanted

    FacePlanted Guru Class Expert

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    Alcoholism is a sick disease.
    It causes careless mistakes that can never be taken back.

    Such a horrible disruption to you & your family's lives.
    I feel for your loss. The untimely death of a loved one is a hard thing to endure. For anyone.

    Its good to know he had many friends and family that loved him, He will live on in their hearts.



    My condolances.

    -Mike B-
     
  9. hani

    hani Lifetime Charter Member
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    My condolences.
    hani
     
  10. Tom Barr

    Tom Barr Founder
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    Thanks for feelings,

    My sister is unplugging the Marine tank and removing the fish.
    She cannot keep it going and some sparks shot out, so no need to burn the place down.

    Just too much for her to do.
    While it's bad for her, it can still get a lot worse............never forget that.
    Things always get better with time.

    I'd wanted to break the tank down when I was there but she would not let me. Part of the grief process.
    You just have to give things time.

    I reorganized things so she could go through everything and pack things as she feels ready and has enough room to do so.

    Her oldest daughter is there this next week or two so she is not alone in the house.

    Yes, booze kills, but some folks can have glass a wine etc, but there's a lot who cannot. Same with many things. Driving cars sober kills as well...accidents happen all the time, lord knows I see them all up and down HYW I-80 along a very busy part here in the Bay area.........but things get much worse with drugs like EtOH.

    Just keep i n mind how many things you do have to live for, how short life is, and yep, it can always get even worst.
    Be thankful for what you have, most of all, the folks close to you.
    Our time is limited, make the most of it.


    Regards,
    Tom Barr
     
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