1) Out of habit, I turn my filters OFF for 3min of feeding. This has been valuable when I've had to catch a fish, including SAEs. Filter off = fish all come front and center.
2) Not only one large mouthed net - but two. Need full good clearance of all tank surface. 2 wide mouth nets, one in each hand. Bait with food, blood worms, possibly sinking pellets which will attract attention at floor for more than a quick dart and retreat.
3) Put on some Yanni. Patterned breathing. Patience.
You might be able to catch them in an open container like a pitcher. Throw some food in and when they go in, cover end with a net. This works pretty well for discus too as well as anything really sharp and pointy you don't want stuck in you or your nets.
Some fish really HATE laser pointers and you might be able to coral them to one side of the tank for easier netting with some well placed pointers. Some like the dot too so maybe just the opposite. They only cost a few bucks each at this point so maybe you could make a laser "net" to shove everyone to an open corner and scoop as needed.
On the more facetious side of things - as in please don't actually try some of this....
Maybe you could zap your fish with electricity to stun them all? Pick them off the top when they float.
Are SAEs sensitive to CO2? Maybe just gas them a bit and see what floats to the top?
Not sure if this works as well as an M80 or a large net. I was thinking of something like a DIY minnow trap made from two soda pop bottles. I know it's frustrating, but the title of this thread made me laugh thinking about it.